Soulard's Online Notebook 2013
july 9, 2013
9:52 p.m.
pht
boston, massachusetts
several things this time around, beginning second notebook of the year, to cover the last six months of the year . . . recently, got delivered bookcases, which means books and notebooks long dragged around in boxes or put out on overstuffed shelves are now out and easy to see . . . and the result of this is now I can get at them easily, the books happily, the notebooks greedily . . . wanting to assemble a fractured picture of the last 30 years i've spent writing and publishing . . . it is a deeply emotional process, i am discovering, to excavate my past in art and life, they are one thing though i can distinguish as i choose . . . new thoughts and writing will come from this past, this newly engaging the past . . .
updated radio page for last weekend's show, and another bit of news . . . my show has moved time slots from 11 am EST Saturday to 11 pm . . . this will allow more time for writing and, with the previous weekend's show kicking off the schedule, a little less work all in all, so a good decision in all . . .
and happy happy to tell is the finishing and posting of Scriptor Press Sampler | 14 | 2012 Annual. This year we were lucky enough to debut the new issue at the OutLoud Open Mike on 5/22/2013 in Melrose, Massachusetts, with readings by contributors, & many copies gifted out.
The contents of this new issue include:
* Poetry by Joe Ciccone, Ric Amante, Zannemarie Lloyd Taylor, Martina Newberry, Judih Haggai, Joe Coleman, & Raymond Soulard, Jr.
* New fiction by Tom Sheehan
* New fixtion by Raymond Soulard, Jr.
* Letters by Gordon Fellman & Raymond Soulard, Jr.
* Travel Journals by Nathan Horowitz, Charlie Beyer, & Jonathan TALAT Phillips
* Graphic artwork by Joe Coleman, Jeremy Kilar, & by Kassandra & Raymond Soulard, Jr.
Lastly, updated Labyrinthine so that it is current through the latest pages in the June Cenacle. That's a lot, good. These entries should be this long!
july 13, 2013
12:39 a.m.
home
melrose, massachusetts
updated radio page for my show later tonight, i'm believe it or not ten hours in advance . . . been reading my old notebooks and realizing how much years ago were just plain poor and suffering . . . i was alone in one city after the next, poor, just wondering how to make it work and how to find a lover too . . . it seemed hopeless at times, and yet there were moments that were not so, that drove me to find more not-hopeless moments . . . this perspective is dual in nature, the renewed awareness that things were pretty bad at times, i had only my pen to defend me, and yet i strove on from occasional gleam to occasional gleam . . . i don't know the fullness of it, but at least this much so far . . .
july 20, 2013
5:27 p.m.
Panera - Kenmore Square
boston, massachusetts
updated radio page, it's hot this week, and I need to feel better about the quality and time of work I'm doing than I do now... simple as that . . .
august 2, 2013
2:19 p.m.
home - green couch
melrose, massachusetts
updated radio page, while listening to George Harrison on my stereo, first time I'd put an LP on it to work by in many many years, cheers to reunions . . . working currently and getting all the spring/summer's publications printed, packaged & mailed out . . . that alongside of writing pages & pages & pages & more pages . . . what was happening was that the Cenacle was going from good platform for my recent work to me desparately trying to get enough work to fill its pages . . . a matter of renewed time & devotion . . . that's what Art requires, simply put, time & devotion, & luck that the work will be good . . . but without the first, the second has even less of a shot . . .
one of office's bookcases contains my notebooks, most of them, from many many years of this work, & I've been chasing into them, to far-back years . . . to remember some things, but also to bring some things back into my ongoing creating ferment, with new twists for all the years tween now & then . . . it's fascinating to try & see the bigger picture of one's self, the changes, the not-changes . . . the end result is something more toward synthesis . . . it ain't always pretty or nice revisitings, but the feeling I get is that it's worth doing, blood the demons, a little, recover some of the half-buried glints of them hours, days, years . . . & August as a month sources in many of my earliest projects, so it's a good time to be at this kind of work, see what comes . . .
august 9, 2013
2:19 p.m.
home - driftwood table
melrose, massachusetts
updated radio page, early, trying for an efficiency with work that leaves me more time to write, & likely produces more & better work both . . . this week working on printing recent projects for mailing, still, but nearly done, also begun a health routine experiment for August, intermitten fasting & working on elliptical machine 30 min six days a week . . . so far, so good . . . writing revving up a lot recently, that's even better . . .
august 16, 2013
3:30 p.m.
eastern coffeeshop
zombietown, mass.
updated radio page, & early, which is a trend lately . . . typing this from my old longtime table at this old friend of a place, years, decades, going a long way back & because living near here again, renewed, tis nice to have done so . . . working on many projects right now, & the month is a fruitful one halfway through, but nothing is done, just much had at--fixtion, poetry, TABks--& many packages not yet sent out . . . so just keep driving & driving . . .
august 24, 2013
6:49 p.m.
home - back deck
melrose, mass.
updated radio page . . . the week was cruising till it kinda fell apart at the end . . . i just don't know how to take a day off now and again, and so I stop by crashing . . . then compel up again & go forth . . . lotta work getting done . . . it's good . . . i won't stop . . . what gain in that?
september 1, 2013
8:44 p.m.
home - driftwood tablek
melrose, mass.
updated radio page late this time, but here it is, it was a long long august and lots of work got done, including all publications finally mailed out just yesterday . . . so now write and write and use this good month of work as a good foundation to write like and motherfucker, say it again, write and write and write . . .
september 14, 2013
10:27 p.m.
home - driftwood table
melrose, mass.
updated radio page ready to go, to write & write, & never stop ever willing anyway, never stop . . .
september 23, 2013
6:45 p.m.
on board Harvard-to-Downtown Crossing redline T
this notebook is behind or I would not be updating it on the train toward home, but it is intriguing to be typing and swaying at high speed at the same time . . . anyway, updated the radio page, & have begun work on the next Cenacle . . . I feel like August was such a hardcore good month of work and I've stumbled somewhat since, yet having such a recent model remains inspiring to me about how I can get my shit together and do the good work . . .
september 29, 2013
12:42 a.m.
office
melrose, mass.
updated radio & that's good, spent hours writing tonight & that's better, because if I didn't write, the rest would not matter in the least . . .
october 11, 2013
9:27 p.m.
driftwood table
melrose, mass.
radio page is updated, early, figure that . . . well, this weekend is the big push on Cenacle 86 so there is no time to be wasted . . . i find some but little is too much . . . been reading journals from 2010 for press history chapter i'm working on . . . funny to see time go, places go, people, some things carry on & on . . . grateful for what in hand now for certain . . .
october 18, 2013
8:26 p.m.
panera at porter square
cambridge, mass.
updated radio page, which is good, & next week is next Jellicle Literary Guild meeting, so a week off from radio, ah nice . . . lots of DJs this week, and lately as a whole, yes, nice nice too . . . working a lot on Cenacle 86 with now a week to finish, it should be a good one . . . sometimes I feel like I'm pushing the boulder up that old hill, sometimes I feel like the boulder bounding back down, sometimes I'm beyond, boulder, hill, & sky itself . . . then, ahh, yes, fine, yes . . .
november 2, 2013
5 p.m.
panera at porter square
cambridge, mass.
radio page is updated, JG meeting is done & twas small but good, especially with Catfishrivers in attendance . . . new Cenacle is debuted & now the long path to distribution . . . was something seeing Phish down in Hartford, & then a couple of days of roaming my old homeland . . . some was sweet, some hurt . . . my old Hartford library is so gone . . .
november 8, 2013
12:09 p.m.
living room white couch
milkrose, mass.
while updating radio page, added Bags End News to the program notes . . . so many years writing it in increasing obscurity, but now a little more public light, especially since it's been featured on the show for a fair while now . . . working on getting new Cenacle final proofed, printed, online & out the door, always takes a stretch . . . struggling in my mind of late but trying, trying, fall, get up, try some more . . .
november 16, 2013
10:20 p.m.
driftwood table
milkrose, mass.
more to say than I am going to right now, so soon, just that radio page is updated, and that's a relieving good thing . . .
november 23, 2013
5:31 p.m.
driftwood table
milkrose, mass.
My radio show has been on SpiritPlants Radio 10 years this weekend, which is quite an amazing feat . . . 5 years of that I've been running it, no words on how big that is . . . so dandy congratuations to all who've been a part
As well, overdue to say, but here tis, new Cenacle 86 | October 2013, includes:
* Poetry by Raymond Soulard, Jr., Judih Haggai, Martina Newberry, Joe Coleman, Tom Sheehan, Zannemarie Lloyd Taylor, & Christopher Wick
* Prose essays by Charlie Beyer, Nathan Horowitz & Raymond Soulard, Jr.
* New fixtion by Raymond Soulard, Jr.
* Classic fiction by Herman Hesse
* Reprinted essay on psychedelics by David Wilder
* Graphic artwork by Joe Coleman
* Graphic artwork by Kassandra & Raymond Soulard, Jr.
Joy, the damned thing is told of, it's good! I was just draggin' on the time to say . . . but made some . . . but the printed ones are all mailed finally . . . so onto the next . . .
december 7, 2013
12:03 p.m.
starbucks
reading, mass.
updated radio page for the new weekend, only two radio weekends left for 2013 . . . also of note is a change in the No Borders Bookstore page . . . since it does not go out the Burning Man fest anymore, removed that line at top, & now the books are singularly available in a zip file, the list on the page simply detailing what titles come in the zip . . . a necessary move at this time . . .
december 14, 2013
11:03 p.m.
home
melrose, mass.
last radio weekend of the year, hurrah! updated radio page for one more show for this year . . . now into the hard press of work on December Cenacle, & the try to make another good one . . . it was 2008 when I decided to publish this journal quarterly &, save for 2011 & the issue missed because I was mourning JBIII's passing, it has met this quarterly goal every year . . .
I have written a lot for this issue, & not as much as I would have liked, & there will be a fair number of contributors, though not as many as I would wish . . . yet the goal is to make the issue with the material at hand as best as it can be, & in good time, & so tomorrow's work will try to ride high with this spirit . . . this may be the last entry for the year . . . if so, there were times in 2013 when I did my absolute best, moments I think of when I think of how I wish to do my writing & press & radio work . . . here's to more of them, & more often, in 2014 . . . blessed be to all who read these lines, now & always . . .
december 21, 2013
2:01 p.m.
copley place – westin hotel lounge
boston, mass.
come to this complex as habit in recent years the week before new cenacle is debuted at jellicle guild meeting . . . but typically it's to the Marriott hotel on the other side . . . there soon but here first . . . KD is home sick, shitty cold . . . & I've been reading old notebooks in recent weeks, looking at what I was here years ago . . . maybe trying to understand better why things happened as they did . . . maybe let go, forgive a little where I am still angry . . .
I came here with kelly a. in mid-autumn 1989, round when the berlin wall fell in germany . . . our romance lasted a couple of months more, but I was too green to understand what to keep it good, how it was not likely to retain that first blush of desire & warmth . . . still, when I come to this lobby, however many years later, however many times they've renovated it (many), and I remember that weekend we spent in one of its rooms . . . and I remember kelly, how there were many good moments before it was over . . . probably would not have worked out no matter if it had gone on longer. . . but who knows . . . my point here in bringing it up is that its pain stayed with me, and its pleasures less so . . . but I learned things I needed to know, even as I was slow in knowing how to do better for this knowledge . . .I hope you are well, Kelly, & I hope you think of me from time to time in a nice way, at least sometimes . . . in my own clumsy young way, I did love you . . . & I've learned through dream studies that old loves remain in the mind, no matter how time passes, they have their place . . . I think learning this, and trying to understand what it means, shows some maturity on my part, growth, some word . . . I wish you well, & I hope you found love again, as I did
Updated radio page for last weekend's show, link to its archive . . . pretty much new Cenacle & next weekend's 25th anniversary Jellicle Guild are my efforts for the next week, even took days off work for the run at success . . . 2013 has been good, and I am grateful, a good wife, a good job, a good house, & I am writing as always with the madness I cherish . . . this site goes on, residing on its obscure street online, but visited daily, which is nice . . .
just read the concluding entries going back to 1998 . . . different each time, & yet site & both go on . . . I'm glad I've kept this notebook along the years . . . next one starts up early 2014 . . . blessed be all that read, and a happy Season of Lights to you all!
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